The first response to our short film was from our Media teacher Ms Rolf who has ten years worth of experience within the media industry. She gave a mixture of positive and constructive comments which showed she understood the message of the film and what we want our audience to get from it. However there are a few points which illustrated the aspects we could improve on if creating Closer again.
http://www.youtube.com/user/MrsShipp100#p/a/u/1/QDPeK6ZgtX4
She begun by commenting on the name of the piece- Closer. Although she understands after watching our short film why it was named this as the spirit of the dead girl appearing is that she is always close, she objectively states that it is also the name of many other media forms such as a magazine, feature film and song, which causes the issue of not being original, and could have be named more cleverly.
She enjoyed the jump cuts as they displayed his anxiety but said there was to many which is a fair comment as initially they were meant to be quick shots moving in but with the constant moving within the acting meant continuity issue would be created and this way was still effective.
The comment of the lighting being to dark in the scene with Lucas's friend at the window is apparent among most of the viewers so would need to be looked into if re-filming to see the best way to tackle the issue and make it brighter. Although Ms Rolf did give the idea of making the lighting darker throughout the film until the end where we could experiment, which I believe to be very clever, especially if we were to make it lighter as it would be as if the whole story has be darkening to a fatal end but then the light would show the positive outcome and the way out.
A point which was not recognised by us is the dog calender in the background in the kitchen which should have been removed as it adds a comical factor which is not wanted.
Although she thinks it contains a few cliche moments, the props did a good job of connoting mystery. Just simple things like the smashing of glass and wiping items off the table were very stereotypical, which is a fair point in my opinion.
She had positive comments about the continuity, shots and editing, with the flash backs being the strongest point as it pulls the story together which I agree with, plus helps people to understand the message. Plus the last scene with the use of the ghost and music which work well and are "sweet", especially with the framing itself which was of good quality.
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I then interviewed Jane a University student going into the industry, who gave me some more points of improvement, plus compliments of our film.
http://soundcloud.com/you/tracks
She started by explaining how she was a bit confused at the beginning as she wasn't really sure what had happened other than a man in distress, however by the end, and with the help of the messages understood what had happened. This can be seen as a negative although in a way is good in that we did not give to much away at the beginning which leaves the audience in suspense about what has happened for these events to occur which could make them want to watch on and continue to find out.
Although she enjoyed the idea of having the spirit Kate which allowed her to understand the context of the piece, she thought the window scene was to short and she could have faded out to create a bigger impact which is something to think about if we were to re-create the short film. Also if possible to make her seem more spiritual somehow. For example within the editing we should have tried to spotlight her more which would give her a larger glow around her outline, or could have made her slightly transparent to show a more ghostly effect. But they are just a couple of my ideas which would need to be looked into more if needed.
She did not fault the continuity to much accept at the end where LUCAS leaves the kitchen after sitting on the floor with a knife, and picture with a slit wrist, because as he walks away they have disappeared with the blood in the next scene- other than the picture, therefore looking un-realist. I have learnt to check thoroughly every aspect from scene to scene, which I know had to be done, but have seen even then smallest things become noticed.
She noticed the fridge magnets which again helped her understand what was happening, although like Ms Rolf was drawn to the 'blood donation' of the leaflets rather than the 'Forgive'. So again needed to highlight this more with maybe a brighter spot light, or have been cleverer with the leaflet itself and dulled the rest of the image within the printing, which is something to think about if re-shooting.
Overall Jane enjoyed the film, whilst commenting on the good acting and use of a variety of shots, especially the jump cuts at the beginning. However lighting could have been slightly better in places where parts became brighter. Her comments were noticed, understood and appreciated.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=klt7IsuGxgY
Showing my Postcard design to possible viewers really helped me understand where I could improve and the bits that worked well and would attract people to the short film.
Firstly I spoke to Amber who had never seen the short film so I could get an understanding of if it would appeal to her, and if she could guess what it was about. The comments were mostly positive in the mysterious qualities it contains with the burnt out picture and smudged out letters. As they leave un-answered questions, of Who is the erased person? And what had happened to them? For example. However the issue faced with the design is that it could give off a misinterpreted genre, as it is meant to be a mixture of Psychological and Romance but Amber viewed it as either a Thriller or Horror because of the burnt image, and know doubt the dark, shadowed image. However this could be scene as a positive as people interested in those genre's may be attracted to watch it, which brings another group of people to viewings.
The back of the postcard also had positive thoughts with the short synopsis which gives a little a way but makes you continue to ask questions. Plus the email address is helpful as it links you to the website where you can research more into the short film. Overall she liked the design because it did not give to much away and gave you a lot to think and ask questions about.
I then thought it would be a good idea to ask someone who had watched the film there opinion on the postcard in comparison to the film and whether they worked well together. Evie stated that she thought the postcard relates to the film in that the girl has been cut out, as obviously she is dead in the film, and they work well in asking the question of what actually happened to her as you never truly find out how she died. Plus because the main image on the postcard is a modified shot from the film, creates another connection which is easily noticed. Although the back of the postcard had helpful information the text was said to be a touch small, which if viewed quickly would be missed. So I could look to make it slightly bigger if people were having this problem. The comments from both people helped me understand how important the postcard is in getting people attracted to the film and linking with it so that they are not disappointed and shocked with the context of the short film in comparison to the image on the postcard. Although they do link, it may be a bit misleading with certain aspects. However from Evie's comments this did not seem too big of an issue after watching the film. And the design seems to fit the task well and adding the synopsis was definitely a good idea, as not all other postcard I have researched in the past contain one. Although there could be a few improvements the design seems to be suitable and would hopefully help attract an audience who would enjoy 'Closer'.
In addition, on a parcing comment after the video was filmed, the logo was also mentioned in that it looked a bit out of place on the postcard and as a Film Production Team in general and needs to be looked at, as it makes the company look slightly cheap and "a bit like a Chinese restaurant". So maybe a second design should be created before publishing the film as we want people to recognise our Production Company with a professional attitude.
From the feedback I have learnt the main issue for me is that specialists did not notice the second message on the leaflets and if re-filmed would need to be addressed to make more apparent. Plus the continuity issue at the end where the last two scenes need to fallow each other perfectly with the make-up and props. The piece seemed to allow a good understanding of the message we wanted to give off and people understood what it was about. I am very pleased they both enjoyed the piece and there comments were positive and constructive which helps us a lot, and we can learn from our mistakes in the future to allow us to improve.
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